They’ll Have to do Better Than That!
Ok, so a few years ago they came out with a female condom. Have you seen that thing? It’s no wonder that no one was using it. Not only is it hideously ugly, bulky, and very unsexy but it cost a goddamn mint! They cost between $2.80 and $4 each compared to the average price of 50 cents each for a male condom.
But they’ve come out with something new – F2 they are calling it. They cost about 30% less so we’re down to a whopping $2/female condom! Whoohoo! Way to go guys!
Ok, let’s pretend that cost is not a factor (because we know damn well that if you’re young and don’t have much money it sure as hell is). Let’s look at ease of use. Here’s the instructions:
If you are using the FC or FC2 female condom, make sure the inner ring is at the closed end of the sheath, and hold the sheath with the open end hanging down. Squeeze the inner ring with thumb and middle finger (so it becomes long and narrow), and then insert the inner ring and sheath into the vaginal opening. Gently insert the inner ring into the vagina and feel it go up. Place the index finger inside the condom and push the inner ring as far as it will go. Make sure the condom is inserted straight, and is not twisted inside the vagina. The outer ring should remain on the outside of the vagina.
And that is just the beginning of the instructions – the first of several paragraphs. I’m sorry but considering the new generation of today’s youth, anything that needs more than 1 paragraph to tell you how to use it is not going to be used properly most of the time! For fuck sake, we have a hard enough time teaching young people how to use a male condom and even the banana demonstration doesn’t work half of the time!
Let’s just say we do manage to get women to use it? Is it effective? Well according to Wikipedia if it is used perfectly it has about a 5% failure rate and uneffectively? 21% failure rate! So not only is it a pain in the ass to use (and did I mention that it is not a great option for anal sex? It can literally be a pain in the ass!) but most people aren’t going to use it effectively and there’s a 21% chance that it won’t work!
Finally, let’s talk about the sexiness of the female condom. I’ll be frank – women have enough issues with their body without imagining how they look with a fucking baggy hanging out of their twat! And can you imagine what it sounds like! Like you’re fucking a baggy! Sexy huh?
So, I don’t know about you but male condoms are what I’m sticking with. And any guy that is too fucking stubborn to wrap it up with a fun and sexy condom that I will happily slide over his hard cock with my mouth can kiss my big fat ass because that is as much action as he is going to get out of me!
Now, to get you in the mood to use one of the preferable male condoms why don’t you enjoy this sexy lady?
March 20th, 2009 at 7:10 am
Female Condoms? I don’t want my women with bits of plastic hanging out of them! How unsexy can you get? Down with the condoms!